


End of the Trail

by writingtherevolution (greenmartini)



Series: Big Time Triad [2]
Category: Big Time Rush (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Minor Character Death, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-05 17:34:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10313468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenmartini/pseuds/writingtherevolution
Summary: After a tragedy overtakes the group, the boys take a hike up the mountain to gain some closure with the situation.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Still don't own Big Time Rush despite my best efforts.

“Uggggg, I forgot how big this mountain is,” James groaned out  as he dropped his backpack on the ground beside him.  

“That’s kind of where the name comes from,” Carlos said, smacking James on the arm as he walked passed.

“I thought it was called Clearfrost Mountain?” Camille asked.

“If you read a map it is,” Kendall replied. “But we’ve been doing this trail once a year since we were eight. After we almost died the first time we renamed it ‘Big Mountain’ and then we renamed it to ‘BF Mountain’ when we turned thirteen.”

“What does the BF stand for?” She asked, looking at him curiously.

“Can’t say it with the parents here,” Kendall laughed.

“Big Fucking Mountain,” James hugged her and whispered.

Logan looked over when Camille burst out laughing.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna walk with us?” James asked.

“Nah, you four have to do this yourselves,” she replied. “It wouldn’t be right for me to be there. I’ll just head up to the top with the parents. Brought a book along to pass the time.” She leaned up and pecked him on the lips. “Have fun,” she said stepping away from him.

Logan picked his head up off his dad’s shoulder when Camille walked over to stand in front of him. “I know this walk is going to be really sad for you, but try to enjoy the walk. It looks like a really pretty view, make sure you look up and take it in once in a while okay?” Logan nodded and she gave him a short kiss.

Logan’s dad pulled him in and wrapped him in a tight hug. “It’s gonna be fine, Logie, you’ll have the boys with you. Carlos has the walkie talkie in case you guys need anything. Your bag’s all packed, and I’m gonna be at the summit waiting for you.”

Logan nodded, leaning further into his dad’s hug. “Love you,” Logan said quietly.

“Love you too. We’re gonna start the drive up, you guys know how to get a hold of us if you need anything.” Logan nodded again and his dad got off the bench of the picnic table they were sitting at.

One by one the other three boys came over and sat at the picnic table with him. Logan had James across from him, their boots bumping together under the table. Carlos sat himself next to Logan and Kendall filled in the fourth spot.

Logan looked at the table and sighed. He reached for his backpack that was on the bench beside him and reached in the front pocket to pull out the letter. “So, I know we always joke that every time we do this mountain, it’s the last time we’re going to do the walk, but I think this time might actually be the last time I can do this,” he said quietly. “My mom wrote me this letter, well…this is a copy of it at least. I have the original back at my house. It’s a really long letter, but this,” Logan said, gesturing to the trees around them, “was one of her last wishes. She wanted to walk the mountain one last time and have her ashes scattered at the top.” He bit at his bottom lip, trying to keep himself from crying again, having done enough of that over the last two weeks.

Looking across the table, Logan noticed Kendall was losing the battle against tears and he heard Carlos next to him sniffling, James wasn’t faring much better on the other side.

“So you have…?” Kendall started.

“I have the urn, it’s in my bag, wrapped up snug inside of like three of my hoodies to protect her,” Logan said. “Just need to make it to the top now.”

Logan watched Kendall raise himself to stand on top of the picnic table. “Gentleman, we officially have our mission. Three miles of shifty rocks, loose dirt, and honestly some shady ass trail paths separate us from the top of this mountain. This will be our thirteenth trip up the mountain, but we musn’t let that evil number spoil our will to make it there! Thirteen will be our lucky number today!” Kendall yelled. Logan looked up and smiled at Kendall’s gusto. Somehow, somewhere, a squirrel sitting in a tree might have been inspired to make a journey.

Logan stood up and freed himself from the bench. Kendall hopped down and stood in front of him, James and Carlos filing in to fill in the huddle.

“One last time for Mama Mitchell,” Carlos said, sticking his hand into the middle of the circle.

“One last time for Mama Mitchell,” James and Kendall repeated before adding their hands to the pile.

“One last time for Mom,” Logan agreed, settling his hand on top. 

All four boys took a deep breath before James yelled out, “GO TEAM!” and the huddle broke.

Logan grabbed his backpack off of the bench and slipped the straps over his shoulders, before doing up the buckle in the center of his chest. While the other three were getting themselves ready, getting their bags, checking shoelaces, taking a precursory drink of water, Logan walked up to the trailhead. It was the same sight as always that faced him. Steep rock pathway to start, trees and debris littering the sides, some branches and roots overgrown into the path. It was a challenging hike, but when he made it to the top, he always felt like he was on top of the world.

“Hey, one more thing before we go,” Logan heard James say behind him. Logan turned around and looked at the group curiously. Each of his best friends had a pink ribbon tied around the middle of their left upper arm. Logan got choked up again as James walked up and tied one on him as well. “She’s not here to motivate us as she races us up the mountain, figured this was the best we could do to be absolutely sure we knew she was still in charge,” James said with a small smile.

Logan laughed lightly at James’ words. “Yeah, she always liked knowing she could still beat us, thanks,” Logan said, giving James a quick peck before turning back to the trail and making the first sure steps of his journey.

The first part of the trail always seemed to go well, a strange confidence in the first quarter mile, until the rockface started to wear on the ankles and the muscles started protesting the uphill walk. One thing working against the boys today was the fact that it had rained for the last three days. The rocks, the leaves, and the wood on the exposed roots were still slippery with runoff, making the trek slower and needing to be more careful. 

Logan tried to keep his weight pitched forward as they climbed, that way in case he slipped he would go down on his front instead of landing on his bag. He heard a boot scrape behind him and stopped to turn and look. Carlos was in the back of the group.

“Fine, just hit a rock weird,” Carlos said, already standing normal again. Logan nodded and turned back to the trail.

A mile and a half in, Logan was panting against the humid mountain air. The trees were a lot thicker in this part of the woods and the area didn’t get much sunlight on the ground to dry it after the storms. He found a nice flat piece of ground with a couple of large boulders just off the trail, and wandered over to sit down and catch his breath for a minute. He looked up when a bottle of water was shoved into his hands, taking it from James who sat next to him on the rock.

“Doing okay?” James asked quietly.

Logan looked over and saw Kendall and Carlos splitting and orange, leaving the peels behind the rock they were sitting on.

“I think so,” he replied, shaking his head no at Carlos when part of the orange was offered to him. “Part of me just doesn’t want this walk to be over,” he admitted.

“Well, we’re only halfway there,” James reminded him. “If you’re not ready we can cut out to the road and page on the walkie and bail. She just asked that it be done, Logan, she didn’t say it had to be right now.”

“I know, I just want to do it in case something happens to me, or otherwise, that I can’t make it back here. I just don’t want it to end.”

“As much as we know there’s not much that would keep you away from this mountain to finish this, I think part of you not wanting to finish is the closure part. If the trail never ends, some part of your mind thinks she might come back.”

“I know she’s not going to though, I know that, I was with her when she passed on,” Logan said quietly.

“But when you get to the top and fulfil her wishes with your dad, you’ll be forced to say goodbye. I’m going to sound like a total dick here, but you haven’t been processing her death well. You’re barely sleeping, you’re definitely not eating like you should be. And, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you shouldn’t be sad, you have every right in the world to be, but I know she told you to not let your life slip away because of this. I’ll do what I have to to help you, you know that, but I need you to want to live life again,” James was whispering by the end, his fear showing through in the trembling of his hands.

“Never been good with that, you know that,” Logan said sadly, watching his boot-clad toe scrape over the wet leaves below him.

“That’s why we’re here, to feed you and water you and take you on walks…until you learn to do it yourself again,” Carlos joked, taking the bottle out of Logan’s hand and taking off the cap before putting it back into Logan’s hand and lifting both Logan’s hand and the bottle toward his lips.  “Drink,” Carlos urged. “Been a long walk so far, need to stay hydrated.”

The water did feel good going down his throat. Logan hadn’t realized how parched he was. Carlos stole the bottle back when he had half of it gone. “Not too much, you’ll get sick chugging it like that. Give it a few minutes to process in there.”

About ten minutes later, the boys were on their way again, Logan still in the lead, this time with Kendall directly behind him. The second half of the trail got trickier. There was more exposed dirt here than in the first half, the rain making it a muddy gross mess beneath them. The further the boys walked, the harder it was to see. A thick layer of fog was working its way down the mountain, leftover from the storm and the warmth trapped in the forest. The further they got into the cloud, the harder it became to tell which way the trail was going.

“Are you sure this is the right way?” James asked from the back.

“It looks like the only way the footpath is going,” Logan replied. “The blazes for this trail are white, they’re going to be impossible to see from a distance in this.”

“We’ll figure it out as long as we keep going up,” Kendall replied. “If anything we’ll veer off far enough to find the driving path.”

“We should be less than a mile out,” Carlos said, looking at the distance on his fitness tracker. Logan nodded and kept moving forward, taking awkward steps to keep his footing on the wet ground.

Logan heard the snap of a branch to his left and turned his head to see what the noise was, his foot slipping on the mud underneath him and he fell forward with a lurch onto the buried rock that was in front of him. Logan screamed as he felt something in his forearm shift as he threw his arms out to catch himself. He didn’t have the strength to push himself up, so he just lay on the ground panting harshly into the damp rock, trying to ride out the pain.

“Logan!” he heard the other three yell before he was surrounded. There was a long pause as the other three tried to figure out what to do with him.

“Hey, what hurts?” Kendall said urgently, his face really close to Logan’s.

“Left arm,” Logan forced out through gritted teeth.

“Okay, is that it? Can I help you sit up?” Kendall asked, not wanting to move Logan before he was ready.

Logan nodded and felt six hands on him, pulling him up and getting him settled against a nearby tree, sitting on the damp ground, careful not to bang his backpack around in the process. Kendall grabbed Logan’s left wrist and said “This is gonna hurt, sorry,” before maneuvering it against Logan’s torso. It took everything Logan had not to scream out again.

“Who has the first-aid kit?” Kendall asked. Carlos had his backpack off his back before Kendall had finished the sentence.

Carlos opened the rather impressive kit and slammed it shut with a quick “Shit.”

“What?” Kendall asked, looking over at him.

“We don’t have a sling,” Carlos replied.

“Here,” James said, handing his tshirt out to Kendall. Kendall took the fabric, looking confused. “C’mon, we learned this at summer camp that one year I decided it would be a great idea to jump in the very shallow lake arms first, we know how to do this.”

“I don’t, I don’t have a knife on me,” Kendall said.

Logan reached into the front of his pants and pulled out his small pocket knife. “Not much, but it’ll get the job done,” he said to Kendall. His arm was down to a dull throb now that most of his weight wasn’t resting on it.

Kendall nodded and got to work cutting the t-shirt up the side seam. James knelt down next to Logan on his right side, taking the brunette’s hand so he had something to squeeze.

“Okay, Carlos, gonna need a second set of hands,” Kendall said, ready to tie up Logan’s arm. Logan gripped James’ hand tight as Carlos moved his arm so Kendall could slip the makeshift sling into place.

Once Logan was all wrapped up, the other three stood and stared at him. “I’m fine,” he said. He knew he wasn’t getting back to his feet on his own with one hand and his backpack still on, but the pain was tolerable right now. Logan tapped Carlos’ knee with the side of his boot, getting the oldest boy’s attention. “Do the math, how much farther?” Logan asked.

Carlos tapped on his tracker to cycle through the specs. “Maybe half a mile left? If that?” he replied.

“Okay, we can do this,” Logan said. “Someone help me up,” he said when the other three just knelt there doing nothing.

“We’re not going on, you’re injured! We’re going to radio for help and get you looked at!” James said, adamantly.

“We’re going to keep going on. If you radio for help, they’re going to make me walk out of here anyway because I can, except they’re going to make me walk to the drive road to meet the ambulance, which is a mile away that way,” Logan said pointing West. “It’s only a half mile up, I can do it,” he insisted.

“Big Fuck Mountain strikes again,” James said, getting himself to his feet. He held out is hand for Logan’s free one again. “Ready?” he asked. Logan nodded and felt himself pulled swiftly up, bending over slightly in pain because he tensed the muscles in his arm on the way up.

“I’m good, I’m good, okay, let’s go,” Logan said after a few deep breaths, the other three were all ready to go by that point.

“Yeah, you’re not leading though, don’t need you going down hard on that arm again,” Kendall said, squeezing Logan’s good arm before trudging past him.

The half mile trek up the hill was agonizingly slow, Logan seeming to slow down every couple of minutes to get his bearings back. Finally, Logan looked up and saw the railing of the summit at the top of the slope. Seeing the end in sight brought a new wave of energy to the group, and they increased their speed before they broke out to the stone slab that led to the overlook of the mountain’s canyon.

A chorus of “Oh my Gods” and “what happened” greeted the foursome. Mrs. Garcia was the first one to make it to the group and she ran right up in front of Logan.

“What happened?” she repeated the waiting group’s question.

“Slipped in the mud on the really steep part about a half mile back, arm hit a rock,” Logan said, looking down at his wrapped arm.

“No, no no no no, Logie. Look at you,” Logan took a step back as his dad rushed up to him. His dad’s hands framed his face, wiping at the mud that was still wet with sweat from when he fell.

“I’m fine, dad, fine. Just broke my arm. Not the first time, it’s okay. We made it,” Logan said.

“We need to get you to the hospital,” Brian insisted.

“And we will but first we gotta do what we came to do,” Logan said. “Do we have scissors?”

“I do,” Mrs. Knight answered, digging in a bag in the back of her car for a moment before walking over with them. “What do we need them for?”

“Need the backpack cut off, can’t do it with the sling.”

Once Logan’s backpack was free, he watched over his dad as he took out the hoodie bundle and undid it, revealing the urn that held his mom’s ashes. It was a simple brushed metal urn that Joanna had picked out herself. It had a matte bronze finish. Simple, exactly what she wanted.

Logan looked at his dad and asked, “Ready?” before looking out over at the short walk they had to the overlook.

“Ready as I’ll ever be, I guess,” his dad replied before moving up next to Logan, urn tucked under one arm. Logan put his good arm around his dad’s waist as they walked together, the rest of the group following diligently behind them, two-by-two.

The group made a line along the overlook ledge, with Logan and Brian in the center. Everyone in the group took turns telling their favorite story or memory about Joanna, and Logan soaked it all in. His dad gave a lovely speech about how Joanna was the love of his life when they met as teenagers fresh out of different high schools in Oklahoma. Logan was trying to figure out which one he wanted to tell out of his whole arsenal, when it dawned on him, there was something important about his mom that nobody except him and his dad knew. He knew now was the time to tell it. When his dad finished, Logan looked over and smiled at him before he started talking.

“My favorite memory of my mom isn’t a memory at all, it’s been basically my whole life. Only me and dad know this right now, but I want to tell all of you because I feel like it’s important that you know about this before we finish grieving her passing, if we ever do at all. Bluntly said, I’m adopted. Joanna and Brian weren’t my birth parents.

I was born in Texas to two people who were honestly addicts. Lived there the first six years of my life. I was… I was abused by my birth father mentally and physically as a child. Every little thing that went wrong was my fault. The only reason I got out is because one day while I was at school, my birth mother overdosed, I got home and found her not moving in the living room, and my birth father came home and blamed it on me. Nearly beat me to death before he left. When I didn’t go to school for three days, the school called the cops and they found me and her in the house. I got taken to the hospital and put under the care of social services before Joanna and Brian got wind of the case through a friend of theirs and put in their bid for adoption. A year later I was out of the hospital and in a moving truck up to Minnesota where I found a home that loved me and a group of friends that I couldn’t live without. Every day of my life I thank these two for what they did, and what they continue to do.”

By the end of his speech Logan was openly crying, and so was half the group. Mr. Garcia looked like he wanted to steal Logan and hide him away forever.

Logan looked over to his dad and said, “Ready for her to be free of that cage whenever you are.”

Brian nodded and took the lid off the urn, handing it to one of Carlos’ younger brothers who had wandered up next to him.

“Love you, Mom,” Logan said before Brian let the ashes loose into the wind of the mountain top. Logan felt a forehead rest between his shoulder blades and knew that Camille had wandered up behind him. The whole group in general had just gotten closer to the pair, squeezing in tight but not saying anything, respecting the moment but wanting to offer comfort.

The group stood in silence, just listening to the sounds of the mountain for ten minutes before they started to move again. A round of concern went out for Logan and his mangled arm again.

“I’m not taking everyone with me,” Logan said, “That’s an obnoxious amount of people in the waiting room for just a broken arm,” Logan said in frustration when everyone said they were going.

“I’m going,” James said, defiantly, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Not if I leave you behind you’re not,” Logan replied.

“It’s going to be me, you, and you’re two significant others there, everyone else can go back to Brooke’s house like we planned and we’ll be there soon to meet up with you,” Brian said, putting the lid back on the urn.

“Oh goodie, hospital. Happy frickin’ birthday to me,” Logan replied. He looked around at the shocked faces of the group. “What?” He didn’t know what he said that was offensive.

“Shit! It’s your birthday!” Kendall and Carlos yelled together.

“Why did you let us do this to you today!?” Carlos finished.

“Because I wanted to?” Logan replied.  “The weather held out for the first time in 10 days, and I needed to get out of the house before I murdered one of you? Take your pick.”

“I can’t believe you,” Kendall said in reply.

Logan looked over at his dad who was on his cell phone, listening in to the conversation. “Hey Kelly, it’s Brian from Trauma. Hey favor, Logan most likely broke his arm and I was wondering if you could set it up that we get a quick in and out to get it looked at? Yeah? No, his records would be under H. Logan Mitchell. Yeah. That’s him.  Thanks a bunch we’ll be there in about a half hour.” 

“H? What does that H stand for, Logan Mitchell?” Camille asked him. Around him James, Kendall and Carlos all started sniggering.

“Ask them,” he said rolling his eyes.

“What does it stand for?” Camille asked again, but the guys just kept laughing.

“She’s not gonna let up until you tell her,” Logan said to the other three. “Count of three….one…two….three….”

“Hortense!” the three shouted, leaning over and rolling on the ground in hysterics.

This was one thing his mother always loved on the top of this mountain. Clearfrost Mountain was a bitch to get to the top of, but at the summit you forgot your wordly problems and just cared about what matters, enjoying life and spending it with good company, and good company was something Logan most definitely had.

 

 


End file.
